Stopwatch
by dreamseeker09
Summary: Kakashi Hatake and the years he lost. A collection of oneshots/drabbles for Kakashi-sensei. Chapter 4: Because Kakashi keeps to the rules and relies only on himself, and Minato wants to change that. Angst and fluff ensues.
1. Only girls have pony tails

At the age of four years old, Hatake Kakashi was a typically active, inquisitive and impulsive child. It would be a whole year before he could enter the ninja academy, but the young, white-haired soon-to-be prodigy was already training and preparing for the ninja life. He had heard from the villagers and other ninjas about the tales of his father's missions, the legendary white fang and he was determined to equal if not surpass his father one day. Already he was attempting to learn the summoning jutsu.

It was fate maybe, or possibly just the sky being in a bad mood, that Hatake Kakashi met the sensei of his soon-to-be sensei on the first day of July.

Sakumo, Kakashi's father, let the man in with a small smile. Young Kakashi stopped in the hallway and simply stared for a moment, at the large, scary man with the spiky white hair and plain weird grin. Why the hell was the word 'oil' written on his headband?

"Ah, so you must be Kakashi," Jiraiya had grinned when the older man had spotted him, walking up to the young boy and then proceeding to ruffle his hair. He looked at Sakumo. "He's cute."

In that moment, Kakashi decided once and for all that he did not like this man.

He growled and swatted the hand away from his head with surprising menace for a four year old. "You're Jiraiya, right?" he asked, "One of the three legendary Sannin?"

The toad sage nodded smugly, obviously proud of this title.

Kakashi simply deadpanned. "I thought only _girls_ have pony tails, old man," he said simply.

After that, Jiraiya stopped coming to visit. When Kakashi stared up at his father with large, innocent, grey eyes and asked why, Sakumo just sighed in despair and promised himself that this would be the last time he had house guests.

The next time Kakashi met Jiraiya, he found the old hermit peeking through a hole in the fences that surrounded the women baths. He walked up to the strange man and stared at him for a moment, wondering what on earth he could be doing, before poking him roughly in the side. It caused him some satisfaction when the man yelped and jumped slightly, before turning to glare down at him.

"What _are_ you doing?" The young boy asked, staring up shrewdly and raising an eyebrow.

The sage looked slightly abashed, before simply smirking, "Just some…research."

"Research? You mean for a new jutsu?"

"Not exactly…"

"For what, then?"

"A book."

Kakashi's eyebrow raised higher. "A book? What sort of book?"

For a moment, Jiraiya pondered and then he grinned. He whipped out something from his pocket and Kakashi caught a glance of the cover. "My new book…Icha Icha paridise. Well known in all five of the countries. I'm a celebrity you could say," the old sage grinned and posed smugly.

Kakashi did not look impressed, simply taking the book from the man's hand and handling it gently, eyeing the front cover with disdain. Jiraiya couldn't help the small smirk that grew on his face. One of his many future fans, he reasoned.

Later that day, when Kakashi returned home with his small nose immersed in the book Jiraiya had given him, Sakumo was surprised to say the least. He was a strong ninja, calm in all situations, always had _something_ to say. And yet, when his son walked up to him calmly, showed him the large and erotic drawing that filled a two-page spread in the book and asked in a deceptively innocent voice 'what those people were doing,' Hatake Sakumo, for the first time in his life, could think of nothing to say.

Instead, he blushed.


	2. Stupid, yellow haired jounin

**Disclaimer: If I owned Kakashi, then the show would be called 'Kakashi' not 'Naruto' and our favourite, lazy sensei would be the main character. But alas, I do not own Naruto, or anything of the sort. **

**This one is set in Kakashi's childhood again- when he first meets his sensei. I love Minato!**

Hatake Kakashi graduated from the academy at the age of 6 – the youngest ninja to ever graduate, the top of his class, the son of the legendary white fang of Konoha and also the affections of every future kunoichi near his age. He was special, to say the least. And yet he did not seem to notice the way people looked at him, the amazement and admiration and maybe even worry in their eyes for the 6 year old genin. None of it mattered, though. Because he had expectations to live up to, still.

The hokage had assigned him his own sensei a few days ago – some jounin by the name of Namikaze Minato. Kakashi had not been particularly thrilled. He had of this particular jounin – although he was skilful, he was unfocused and new, having only been made jounin a few months ago. How would be ever be a great ninja without a great teacher? Kakashi did not approve. He had told the hokage himself, asked for another jounin teacher, but Sarutobi had just chuckled at him, petted his head and said "All in good time, young one. I think you'll like Minato-san."

Kakashi disagreed. From what he had heard, 'Minato-san' was a dreamer and a believer and although most people spoke highly of him, Kakashi was irritated to discover that this particular jounin spent most of his time _socialising_ and not training.

And so, when young Kakashi was the only one left in the classroom on a blisteringly hot day, waiting for his supposed sensei to show up for the first time, he told himself it was to be expected. He had been waiting for nearly half an hour, a half an hour he could have spent training. And it was hot.

He left the classroom, with a murderous scowl on young face, determined to track down this 'Minato-san' and make him pay for his lateness.

Somehow, he found his way outside, into the deserted school courtyard. He stopped, waited and listened to the silence. He could tell there was _someone_ or something at least that was here. And then suddenly, a single kunai zipped through the peaceful silence from out of nowhere, aimed straight at his head.

Kakashi reacted quickly.

He deflected the kunai with his own, but more followed. He managed to dodge, before throwing his own shuriken accurately at where the kunai had come from. Suddenly, a blaze of yellow erupted in front of him and a leg came swinging out of nowhere, aimed at his chest. He ducked, aimed his own kick at the person's feet, but was too slow. The person had already jumped up, landing behind him and promptly grabbing him.

Kakashi struggled, but the person was obviously too strong. So he did the only thing he could think of. He bit down hard on the man's hand. A howl of pain was heard and then the man let go of him. He smirked deviously, swung around and punched straight in the stomach.

And finally, he took a good look at his attacker. The man was tall, blonde, lean and was currently standing a few paces away, massaging his bleeding hand. He noticed how the perfect, azure blue eyes. And then he finally understood- _this_ was his new sensei.

"Why the hell did you attack me?" Kakashi growled.

After a moment, Minato looked up and scowled slightly, "You have canine teeth," he commented, ignoring the question. Kakashi glared. The man seemed to notice. "Oh, right," he said and then smiled, "I was testing you."

"So you tried to strangle me to death?"

Minato shrugged. "You passed, that's all that matters," he said after a moment.

Kakashi thought for a moment- maybe this man wouldn't be too bad. "Ok, fine," he said, "when does training start, sensei?"

Minato grinned a smile that rivalled the sun, "we can start now, if you want," he said. There was silence for a moment. And then: "Well, how about I get you some ramen for lunch, first?"

Kakashi pondered for a moment, before nodding. "Fine." He said shortly, still wary.

And then Minato's grin became impossibly large at the concept of ramen, "great! Got any money?"

Kakashi just sighed. _'What'_ he thought, _'was Sandaime thinking?'_

***sweatdrop* Oh poor poor mini kakashi, just what have you gotten yourself into? I love chibi kakashi. Anyway, next chapter will probably be angst. Please review! I would love to hear your thoughts on this story…**

**Kakashi: *ranting* stupid, yellow-haired jounin…**


	3. Enough for me

**Hello again! So, I'm sorry if Kakashi's age is wrong…please don't sue me. Anyway, I've actually written a decent amount this time. As you can probably tell, I'm a lot better at angst than humour…yeah, I'm not a funny person. I've been told. Oh, and don't you just love Minato? Mind you, this story probably won't have any pairings…this chapter is a sensei/student sort of relationship, kind of reminds me of Gai and Lee…**

**Anyway, I don't own Naruto or any of the characters…on with the chapter!**

'_This can't be happening…please don't leave me.'_

Kakashi Hatake has nothing to say. It is the first time in his short life that he has ever been speechless and it feels as though he has forgotten to _breathe_ let alone talk. The floor is coming out from under his feet, the walls are spinning and all he can see is red red red. Crimson, bloody red and pale, lifeless eyes that stare blankly at the ceiling.

Kakashi is seven years old. Sakumo has just committed suicide.

He can't breathe, he can't _move_ and there's an annoying distant ringing in his ears. There's nothing in the world he can see anymore apart from the body that lies in the middle of the Hatake house, drowning in a pool of its own blood. Maybe he's crying, he could be _screaming_ for all he knows but nothing matters anymore. He can't feel, he's numb, in shock; broken and shattered and there's nothing no one can do about it.

He doesn't know how long he stands there for - minutes, hours or days? In the end the world is crashing down around him anyway and time has no importance. He wants to throw up, his stomach churns and his chest is hurting painfully for some reason but he can't quite comprehend why (_he's confused because he shouldn't be hurting because no one has pierced him with a kunai or hurt him with shuriken). _In the end, he thinks it may be his heart, that long forgotten organ that he had left to fester and rot inside of him.

He doesn't know when he moved forward, but suddenly he is beside his father. He lays down beside the body and for a few, silent moments he just stares blankly into those dull, grey eyes that are so much like his but at the same time are not. White, silvery moon hair is dirty and matted with crimson – impure, tainted. He looks at his father's face, unseeing, still numb. He can't feel anything. He thinks that the expression on the man's face may be happiness, but he's not sure because the smile is half hidden behind pain and years of hardship. The white fang of Konoha is magnificent, he thinks, even in death. He can see the wound on the chest where the blood has stopped seeping from, a katana sticking out of it.

Sakumo is a traitor and he is weak, Kakashi thinks, but it still hurts. He lets a single tear leak out because he knows he should, not because he can.

He doesn't know when he started running, but his mind is a blur of trees - dark and muddy skies. It feels surreal almost and he doesn't know where he's going or what he's going to do. The forest, the dark and foreboding trees, the howls of creatures in the woods dance across his mind and play tricks on him, but he keeps going. He's Kakashi, now the youngest chunin ever and he doesn't get scared of the dark (_tell me it's going to be alright, please?). _Sakumo – no, not his father, not anymore – is a traitor anyway. He shouldn't care. Father- _no_ Sakumo- gave up his mission in favor of saving his comrades. He did the wrong thing, Kakashi thinks. He did the wrong thing, he tries to make himself believe. _(Shinobi are merely tools to serve the village. Nothing more, nothing less. Tools.)_

He doesn't know when, but he finds a clearing somewhere in the forest where the too-tall trees bear down on him and he still can't _see. _He collapses there, in the clearing, breathing deeply. For a few moments, he listens to the night birds. And then cries. The first ever time, because in reality he is still only a seven year old child and he's too young to be a part of this cruel world. He's still a child, but he never had a childhood. And so he cries, the tears streaming down his face and dripping into the forest floor, the sobs racking his frail body until he can't breathe again. He cries for the childhood he never had, the father he has lost, and the happiness he thinks he will never find. And somewhere in this mess of darkness, hysteria, tears and heart-wrenching sobs that only the trees will ever hear the blackness finally takes him.

_(Why did you leave me? Am I not enough for you to live for?)_

He doesn't dream, but his sleep is disturbed. And when he wakes up, it's morning. He's still in the clearing, lying on his side with the side of his face pressed into the dirt, his eyes still red and his messy bangs splayed everywhere. His chest still hurts and this time he is sure it is his heart, because he knows that he was never enough for his father. He was not enough for his father to live for.

They find him in the same place, the same position, later on that day. They've already found Sakumo's body and everyone in the village knows. Word travels fast. They send Minato to look for Kakashi, because Minato is all that Kakashi has left. The same, blonde jounin finds his only student on the forest floor, just staring absently at nothing and for once, he doesn't know what to say to make it better.

Kakashi sits up when he sees his mentor and he tries scrubbing at his eyes because he doesn't want Minato to see him like this. He's Kakashi – invincible, impenetrable. But Minato doesn't see him like that. Minato sees him as the child he never was. (_Kakashi is a shinobi. Shinobi do not cry). _

There are no words needed. Kakashi is hurt and vulnerable and _alone_. His sensei wants to show him otherwise. And so, Minato leans forward with saddened eyes and he hugs Kakashi. The white-haired prodigy is surprised at first, but then he relaxes. He still has Minato, he thinks, and Minato will never leave him.

"You're enough for me, Kakashi." Is all that sensei whispers and Kakashi lets one last tear make its way down his cheek. Minato says that Kakashi is enough for him, when he was never enough for his own father.

Kakashi is a shinobi. He is the youngest chunin in the history of Konoha, he is the son of the legendary white fang, he is the student of the future Yondaime and he is the elusive, white-haired prodigy. But in the end, Kakashi is still a child first.

**Hope you enjoyed. I would like to thank all of the people who have reviewed me so far…Ninbunny alchemist, Prescripto13, False sourires and Delirium-Carus. Thank you! And please review :) It would make a certain someone *ahem me* very happy!**


	4. To be a shinobi

**Chapter 4: To be a Shinobi**

**A/N: So, this chapter follows on from last and deals with Kakashi's reaction to the death. Warning: A lot of angst and fluff and Minato-awesomeness. God I love that guy. Isn't he just wonderful? I promise, Rin and Obito are coming in next chapter. Because I love Obito-kun as well. Wow it's sad that all my crushes are fictional characters. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the show, or any of the characters. Everything here apart from the plot belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. **

Kakashi Hatake, at age eight even, was a perfectionist. He liked to follow rules, he liked things neat and clean and orderly. He liked to be organised, and he liked to finish through with any job or mission. And he also did not rely on others. It was his own rule, one invented for self-protection, and one he was determined not to break. So when Minato-sensei asked him to move in with him mere weeks after Sakumo's suicide, it was only natural for Kakashi to refuse resolutely.

"It will benefit the both of us," the jounin with the ludicrously conspicuous yellow hair claimed, in a plead for his young protégé to change his mind. "We could both do with the company. And besides, that way it'll be easier to have training sessions and such." The real reason, of course, was that Minato was worried about his student. Since the death, Kakashi had refused to talk to him about it at all and had thrown himself into his training and missions. He had rented a tiny, one-bedroom flat to live in, paying for it by taking C rank after C rank mission, and had burned every picture he owned of his father. He had even started wearing a mask covering half of his face, to hide his resemblance to his father.

"Sorry, sensei. No."

Minato sighed in exasperation. "Come, or I will personally move everything you own to my apartment and drag you there by force."

"Hn, whatever." The threat clearly did not scare Kakashi.

"Come, or I'll get my ANBU friends to bully you into it."

That threat didn't work either.

"Come, or I'll burn your whole Icha Icha collection."

Ah. Success. A pair of grey eyes narrowed. "You wouldn't."

Minato raised an eyebrow and looked pointedly towards the bookcase. "Oh really? Try me." He raised his hands, about to start the signs for a fireball jutsu, before Kakashi finally caved with a glare to burn through walls and a scowl to match.

"Fine, sensei. I'll go. Happy now?" The young chunin looked ready to start a proper fight with his sensei, but thought better of it and instead stalked out of the room and slammed the door behind him loudly.

At that, Minato couldn't help but smile. Although not exactly positive, it had been the most emotion Kakashi had shown for weeks.

*****

The moving in had been a silent, awkward process. Minato had given Kakashi the spare room to live in, and had made an effort to cook his favourite dinner that night – eggplant and miso soup. As well as throwing himself into his training and suffering from exhaustion, he also hadn't been eating much and had lost a dramatic and unhealthy amount of weight.

As expected, Kakashi came and sat at the table obediently, looking as if he wished he were anywhere but there, and picked at the food.

"So, have you unpacked yet?" Minato tried starting up conversation, to break the awkward silence.

Kakashi shrugged. "Hm."

"I've got Jiraiya's whole collection in the library, you know."

"You showed me last time I visited, sensei."

Silence. And after a little while:

"Is my cooking really that bad?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've barely eaten anything."

"I'm just not that hungry." The response sounded practiced – artificial and rehearsed. Minato sighed.

"Eat, 'Kashi-kun. You'll need the energy."

"Don't call me that."

Minato tried to grin playfully, but he knew it looked as hollow as it felt. "Why not, 'Kashi?" He leant over the table to ruffle the silver hair affectionately, just like he always had done. Kakashi scowled, and unlike all of the other times he swatted the hand away.

"Stop it. I'm not a kid."

And with that, Kakashi stood up silently and left the room. Minato's grin slipped off his face and a part of him hurt hearing those words. It was wrong to hear those words coming from an eight year old. "You are a kid, Kakashi," he whispered into the air, knowing that no one would hear him. "Even if you don't act like it."

The days dragged on and turned into weeks. When Minato had blackmailed Kakashi into moving in with him, he thought it would make a difference. That maybe his young student would stop his destructive behaviour. But apparently it did not. Kakashi left early in the morning, much before Minato woke up, to train on his own. Minato trained with him most of the time of course, but he still had his own jounin duties and missions to take care of, and was out of the village a lot. Kakashi would always come back extremely late at night, looking exhausted, frail and weak from the excessive training and lack of food. Apparently, he didn't sleep much either. Minato had woken up countless times to the sound of Kakashi slipping out of the house at midnight, or in the kitchen making tea. It was only a matter of time until he collapsed. He had tried to help his student, he really had, but he was only eighteen himself and he didn't know how to.

Eventually, he asked the Sandaime about it after one particularly tough mission. He had always respected the old man as being extremely wise, and probably better at dealing with children than he was.

"So, Young Kakashi isn't dealing with Sakumo's suicide as well as we'd hoped, I see?" Sarutobi questioned pensively.

Minato shook his head and closed his eyes. "He's stubborn, Kakashi. He wants to deal with everything himself. He won't let me help him at all. At this rate he's gonna end up killing himself from exhaustion."

Sarutobi chuckled sadly. "Just like his father." Then he looked at Minato properly. "Kakashi trusts you most of all, so you are the only one who can help him. Just be patient and supportive. Be there for him. That's all he wants from you."

"I'm not sure if that's enough anymore, Sarutobi-sama."

The old man only smiled. "When the time comes, things will play out just as they should. Just wait and see for yourself, Minato."

And the old man was right. The time did eventually come, even if Minato wasn't ready for it. Because that evening, when he was returning back to flat, sorely in need of food and a hot shower, he passed by Kakashi's favourite training field. It was empty, except for something black in the middle of the tall grass. Upon closer inspection, Minato realised it was Kakashi.

The young boy was lying in the middle of the training field, passed out. Minato felt a part of his heart break as he slowly picked up his young student and realised how light he was, how pale and small and fragile he looked. He was still a child, not a killer. Not a tool. Not a weapon used by the Village. He was still a child, and life was unfair like that for forcing something innocent to become a tool. Because that's really all shinobi were – corrupt tools.

With that rather depressing thought, Minato set off for Konoha hospital.

He waited there all night. He sat beside Kakashi's bed – luckily he was allowed as his student wasn't in critical condition – and tried his hardest to stay awake. He wanted to be there when Kakashi finally woke up. Yamanaka Inoichi and Nara Shikaku had come and visited him, trying to get him to go home and sleep, but he had refused. Sarutobi Asuma, another chunin, had come to visit as well, bringing with him Maito Gai, a strange genin who burst into huge, comical crocodile-tears at the sight of his 'eternal rival' and started spouting off some nonsense about the 'wilting flower of youth'. Minato wasn't sure whether to be confused or disturbed that his student had been referred to as a 'flower'. Maybe that Gai kid was gay. Well if he was, he was to keep his hands off of _his_ 'Kashi-kun.

Finally, after a long and eventful night, morning began to break over Konoha and the dull grey monotone outside peaked into a light blue. Minato was dozing in his chair, almost asleep, when he heard the quiet voice.

"Sensei?"

He jumped up immediately to see Kakashi's grey eyes half-open and staring at him in awe. And this time, they weren't glaring at him and there was not years of pain hidden behind them. This time those eyes were innocent and confused – not the eyes of a killer, or a shinobi. Minato felt happy and sad at the same time to see them and he didn't even notice the tears that welled up in his own sky, blue eyes.

Instead, he leant forward and hugged Kakashi.

"Sensei?" He heard again, sounding confused. He let go and stared for a moment happily, before wiping hurriedly at his eyes and breaking into a grin.

"Good to have you back, 'Kashi."

"But…what happened? All I remember is training and -,"

"You passed out, from exhaustion."

"Oh." Kakashi looked down for a moment, before noticing the chair beside his bed and Minato's frazzled appearance. "Have you been…sitting there all night?"

"Yep, of course."

"Why, sensei?"

"Because, Kakashi, because I…wanted to be there when you woke up. And I want to be there for you, even if you don't want me to." Kakashi remained silent, picking at the bed covers, so Minato carried on. "Listen, Kakashi, I know the past weeks have been hard on you, but…please, you can't do this to yourself anymore."

"Why?" his student asked hollowly. "What does it matter? I have nothing to live for other than being the best shinobi possible. Father broke the rules, and I hate him for it. I'm not going to make the same mistakes." He closed his eyes then, maybe to try and block out the pain, but Minato saw the single tear that leaked out and trailed down his pale cheek anyway.

He put his hand on Kakashi's shoulder. "The rules aren't everything, 'Kashi. In fact, I believe your father did the right thing. Sometimes you have to trust your own instincts, not just the rules. The best shinobi are the ones who know when to listen to the rules, and when to listen to themselves."

"But...I thought shinobi live to protect the village."

"They do, but that doesn't mean their tools. Shinobi are still human, above all else."

Kakashi looked away, out of the window to the blue sky where a bird was perched on a tree branch and chirped into the crisp autumn air.

"I'm not sure anymore, sensei."

Minato only gazed solemnly at his student for a moment and then tightened his grip on his shoulder. "It's okay, Kakashi. These things take time."

Outside, the bird flapped it's wings and took off into the air.

**A/N: The ending ties in so perfectly with the Naruto Shippuden opening 'blue bird'. Anyway, I'm really sorry for taking so long to update. I just haven't felt like writing at all. And yeah, this chapter is depressing, to reflect my mood at the moment. Well anyway, hope you enjoyed ****And PLEASE review. See? I asked nicely. Nor did I threaten to burn any Icha Icha collections anyone might have. Review to prove to Minato that niceness beats blackmail any day **


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